So back in April I posted about how we would be “done” doing foster care.  As is usual with my life, we make decisions and God laughs and shows us He has another plan.

Miss M moved out in April.  We grieved having fully loved her baby sweetness and yet knowing she needed a forever family and we were not going to be it, that it was right for her to move to a permanent home.  She’s doing fantastic.  We see her often, especially at park play dates and the kids have adjusted to the new relationship they have as her park protectors, haha.  She is animated, sweet, and getting so big….and we are forever blessed to be able to watch her grow as her extended family.

We have taken the past six months to be very intentional with our kids.  Our four little ones each have wounds from their traumatic pasts that have manifested in different ways.  We are consistently looking for ways to help them heal.  We have seen a lot of good in a lot of things by focusing on each of their areas of need.

In addition I feel like I have personally taken a giant gulp of fresh air.  Ten years of fostering with little breaks here and there between babies and toddlers left me dry and feeling unable to form a complete thought.  I really didn’t remember who I was and what I enjoyed doing with ‘free time’.  I am enjoying, truly enjoying, my time while the kids are in school and Bekkah is in 4K for the mornings.  I take time in the Word, get work done in silence, and sometimes climb back in bed and rest.  It has been a season of so much depth for me, it’s hard to explain really.

But God…

A few weeks ago, I had several repetitive dreams that left me feeling very unsettled, like God was speaking to me about a change coming again.  That was followed by a chain of events and multiple conversations with Ryan, ending with us being on one accord with the plan of going forward SLOWLY back into the world of active foster parents.  We talked to all four of our big kids to be sure they were 100% on board (we would not be able to effectively live this life without our kids being very settled and positive about fostering again….we have always said this is a family ministry, not just something God has called Ryan and I to do, and we stand by it still), we set parameters that we agreed upon and felt good about, and began to crack open the door.

The need for foster families in our community is immense, and growing larger every month.  We couldn’t continue on knowing we are able to easily do something to help.  As you all know, we moved last summer and when we moved, our foster license was put on a hold – since a foster license is home-specific.  So the first step was to request the moving packet, fill out all the paperwork and ensure our home was compliant with the law.  We had the agency walk through two weeks ago today, and she indicated it was busy and we wouldn’t need to wait long for a call…and she was right.

The first night after our home inspection we were called at 1am for a set of school age twins.  The second night we were called at 11pm for a toddler.  I can further explain in a future blog how we decide when to say yes vs no if anyone is interested, but please know we do not take the process of saying no lightly.  It is VERY HARD knowing there’s a child sitting at a police station, hospital or in a social worker’s office and hanging up the phone whispering a silent prayer that the next call will be to a home that can say yes even though we could not.  The guilt/pain feeling is immensely difficult and lasts usually into the next day for me as I continue to pray as often as they come to mind for the heart of the child, that a foster home was able to be found, and that the child will be a perfect fit into their home for whatever time it will be.  We know with our house what will work generally and what won’t.  We know that every move is detrimental on a child so we do our best to only say yes when we know it will work for us.

Anyhow, I digress….so two weeks ago Monday was the home inspection and the first call, Tuesday was the second call, and Wednesday morning was the third call.  In this case, the third time was the charm and we said yes to the placement of a preemie baby boy.  Before you get too excited, after a week of whirlwind of preparations (since we gave away every bit of of our baby stuff when we decided to be done fostering last spring) and delays, the social worker was able to secure a relative home that was willing and appropriate to care for the tiny little guy.  We are thrilled for him – appropriate family is always best.

So now we wait for the next placement who needs us.  In the meantime, last weekend we were able to flex our baby caring muscles with a quick overnight respite placement which whet the appetites of everyone in the house to having baby sweetness around.  He was adorable, easy and absolutely the most exciting thing to happen around here in a while.  I think everyone is ready to dive back into it.  We do not know what it will look like, how long we will foster this time and how everyone will do the next time we have a child for a time and grieve their departure.  But for now, we know what we are doing is right.  God has called us to it for this time and we are resting in knowing that He delights in our obedience.  And for now, that’s all that we need to know.