The winds of change…

So much change over the past few months.

Miss M leaving, our oldest graduating, our older boys spending the summer up north, moving to a new house, all of the kids starting school….major life events always bring a mixture of emotions. Today’s blog post is going to be kind of sappy, so if you’re not up for that today, feel free to keep scrolling. 🙂

Andrew, I’m sorry in advance if this embarrasses you. You say all the time that you’re the “trial model” so I get to vent all the feelings I’m having about this new phase of life, starting with you. I sincerely apologize.

A few weeks ago, I stood during worship at church next to my oldest son. My first sweet baby is now an adult young man who towers over me…and it’s all still odd to me. Wasn’t he just born? I remember the day I brought him home and fell asleep laying next to him in bed, with his tiny fingers wrapped around my index finger and marveling that we actually had a real live baby, like it was just a short bit ago. How is he already a grown adult?

As I stood there singing, I looked over at him and was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. This giant was once my little boy who tucked his tiny hand in mine. He was my squishy toddler that climbed up in my lap and begged for me to read “Snuggle Puppy” just one more time. He was my curious little guy who called Isaac “baby Zack” and told me he wanted to marry me someday….and now we are talking about his relationships, long term planning and big stuff – and not hypothetically, but with a purpose and levity that I thought would be far, far in the future. My 6’5″ baby boy and I now have long talks in the mornings about Jesus, life, dreams and plans. I LOVE this time and want to rewind the years at the same time.

I am more than proud of the man that God has brought him up to be, in spite of our shortcomings and uncertainty as first time parents. He is a caring and compassionate man who is still happy to talk to his mom about the big (and small) stuff in his life. He is responsible, resourceful and kind. Now if the hands of time can just freeze right here with him being in our home and walking through life as a college student….the idea of him not doing day to day life with me is just not something I’m ready to even think about.